While helping a friend of mine on her quest for her dream car, we came across a listing on Craigslist that sounded almost too good to be true… at first. $2500 for a Monte Carlo? Really? So naturally, we clicked on the link in hopes that this would be the one.

Before clicking on the picture, go ahead and take a wild guess as to why homeboy’s selling his baby.  Stumped? Go ahead, click it.

I mean, seriously? You’re selling it just cos someone stole your wheels and the front axles? Okay, so I’m not much of a car person (which is kinda sad considering my mother is in that industry) but to me, it’s like some hot-shot CEO divorcing his middle-aged wife for a newer, younger model, simply on the grounds that she went and got a bad haircut but justifying it with the old “I’m-tired-of-spending-my-money-on-your-golddigging-ass” excuse. And what’s sad is that the younger model is a burn-out hooker who will most likely make him spend more money on her in the first year than you did during your 25-year marriage.

What makes it even worse is that the car is just ugly as shit. I’ve always loved older cars, but an ’81 Monte Carlo ain’t one of ‘em. The tires are a fucking joke; like you can street race in those… get over yourself. Not to mention, being the grammar-Nazi that I am, it took me a few minutes to actually decipher what the hell this guy was trying to say. lern2englshplz.

“Make me an offer…” His desperation would almost force me to believe that he’s just trying to sell it for some rock, if I didn’t know any better.