The real life sex robot is here: Roxxxy. Creative name…with the triple X and everything…I bet they were proud of themselves for that branding.

Roxxxy is a sex robot made of the same material as prosthetics. She can’t move on her own, but she can be posed in natural positions. Roxxxy has built in artificial intelligence to conversate and express emotions. You can spend extra money and have specific topics of interest programmed like stock car racing. She even snores. Emotions, speaking and snoring can be turned off by a button…making her the easiest punchline to anything regarding the perfect woman.

Of course, the real selling feature is she’s ready to knock boots anytime and for as long as you want…or until the 3 hour battery life dies. You can plug her into the wall though. Men are suddenly arranging their beds much closer to outlets as we speak. Roxxxy even “simulates” an orgasm, which is actually like a real woman. I’ll give the inventor realism points on that one.

4,000 pre-orders have already been confirmed. 20,000 additional inquiries have been made through the site www.truecompanion.com. 4,000 orders at $7,000 a pop: $28,000,000 so far. Wow.

It’s alarming how many shy, awkward men are going to wuss out of the game of life and start playing with a doll. It’s not like you can take her to a wedding or over a friend’s for dinner. Even more startling than that is how freaking ugly Roxxxy is. Just looks like a total tranny crackhead hooker. Definitely the kind of “girl” you take to Eddie Murphy’s car.