Caskets & Chili

Posted on March 3rd, 2010 in News Stories,TJSky13 by TJSky

casket550pix 300x200 Caskets & Chili

The Devanny-Condron Funeral Home in Massachusetts is trying to remind people that the funeral home is a center for community life.  How does one do this?  By having a chili cook-off of course!

Not only that, they are having Easter Bunny visits, murder-mystery shows, and limo rides for couples on their 50th wedding anniversary. The last thing I want to do on my 50th wedding anniversary is be in a funeral home limousine.  My family will be in that bitch following my hearse soon enough.

Oh, I forget, they are even sending monthly birthday cakes to a local senior center.  It just sounds like guerrilla marketing to me; everyone loves free sweets.

Maybe I’m being too harsh.  Perhaps the funeral home’s mission is truly to keep the community upbeat so when unfortunate events happen, and they spend $10,000 at Devanny-Condron, they will feel a greater sense of comfort.   As they mourn their loved one, they can also reminisce about the best chilli they ever had back in the 2010 cook-off.  Comfort like that is priceless.
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He should probably be grateful

Posted on March 2nd, 2010 in Funny Pictures,LOUD&lowbrow by TJSky

random 670 He should probably be grateful

He’s lucky ANYONE gives him head.

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I’m Blackman…

Posted on March 2nd, 2010 in Funny Pictures,LOUD&lowbrow by TJSky

This is suppose to be erotic??? 

You know his face is busted that’s why he’s a superhero with a mask.  

But, hey, he’s got steroids & a cape…what more could a woman want?

black man2 Im Blackman...

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Stay Fat, Save Your Life?

Posted on February 28th, 2010 in News Stories,TJSky13 by TJSky
capt.5d21319bd1d84465b9172911da7ebd8e.love handles shooting njatl101 Stay Fat, Save Your Life?

A Florida woman says she was saved by the extra jiggles around her mid-section.  Samantha Lynn Frazier was shot entering Herman’s Place, a bar in Atlantic City, NJ.  She was just an innocent bystander who found herself clutched over with pain and blood all over her left side where the bullet entered.

The suspect has not been apprehended.  Apparently, he was aiming for a man who was exiting the bar; he did manage to pop a hole in the guy’s down jacket. You know he’s crying over his jacket; he probably had to saved up a lot of Burger King paychecks to buy that at the mall.

Samantha once was pressed about losing weight, but now claims loud and proud: “I want to be as big as I can if it’s going to stop a bullet.”

Yes, that makes perfect sense.  I want to be as unhealthy as possible to avoid dying in the random chance a stray bullet heads my way. One could argue that, if she wasn’t so fat, the bullet would have missed her completely because her love-handles would have not been in the line of fire.

Maybe she should lose weight and just start wearing a down jacket…it worked well for the gunman’s intended target.
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I dunno about Hook on Fonik, but…

Posted on February 28th, 2010 in LOUD&lowbrow,Videos by TJSky

…I am all about buying the expansion!

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Mini Spooners

Posted on February 27th, 2010 in Funny Pictures,LOUD&lowbrow by TJSky

minispoon Mini Spooners

Chocolately Frosted Mini Spooners

Thought it was a black midget porn

Imagine my surprise that it’s bagged generic cereal my parents used to swear tasted just like the real thing. Bullshit!

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Drunken Monkey Sent To Rehab

Posted on February 26th, 2010 in News Stories,TJSky13 by TJSky
chimp Drunken Monkey Sent To Rehab

In Moscow, a chimpanzee has been sent to rehab by zookeepers because he is a smoking, beer-drinking fool.  Although he is trapped in the zoo, he manages to get his hands on booze and smokes from people passing by.  He has other talents besides being a party animal (sorry I couldn’t resist); he can draw with markers and he’s fathered a ton of babies.  He’s like a slutty chimp version of Van Gogh.

If the zoo was smart, instead of sending him to rehab, they’d put him on display smoking some cigs, drinking a beer and drawing a picture.  The economy is tough in Europe too; they could make some money off this little fellow.  Instead, he is 500 miles away receiving rehab treatment.  How do you find a substance abuse rehab for a zoo animal anyway?

This seems extreme.  It’s not like he’s addicted to dope.  He’s no worse than your local barfly.  Not to mention, he is Russian.  He’s suppose to wash down his breakfast, lunch and sensible dinner with some of Eastern Europe’s finest spirits.   I am Ukrainian-Russian, we have beer at the church immediately after mass……leave that monkey alone!
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Foul Language Leads To Drug Use?

Posted on February 25th, 2010 in News Stories,TJSky13 by TJSky

The first week of March in California will be “Cuss Free Week”.  There no actual enforcement, more so the assembly hopes to encourage people to watch their potty mouths.  They believe this will bring about more harmony in the community.

Those who are a part of this action go further to say that foul language leads to other behavioral problems like drug-use.  Now, perhaps if you do drugs you may cuss a lot, but I’m fairly certain the cussing a lot did not lead to the drug use itself.  I personally have never woken up, said “shit”, and then had a compulsion to follow it up with a line of coke…like one follows good sex with a cigarette.

The “Cuss Free Week” satisfied someone’s special interest and let the CA General Assembly charge their tax payers for working so diligently for the betterment of the state.  The state economy is shit, but god-damn it, we gave the first week in March a purpose; now fund our next campaign, thank you.

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Vanilla Ice VS Paula Abdul DJ Hero

Posted on February 24th, 2010 in LOUD&lowbrow,Videos by TJSky

You can only act so hard when you’re spinning Ice Ice Baby verse Straight Up.  His character freaking looks like he’s dressed to go on a rampage as he slams his turntable with pride sliding Paula’s vocals on in there.

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1969 Ad Against Cable TV

Posted on February 23rd, 2010 in TJSky13,Videos by TJSky

It’s reassuring that misleading marketing has a long rich history in our society.

This ad wasn’t about how bad “pay TV” is for the consumer. It was about how the movie theaters would lose money if you could sit at home and watch movies for a monthly charge.

The ad blatantly misrepresents the “pay TV” has the same exact programming as “free TV”. If that were true, the cinema industry wouldn’t have bothered to make a commercial and post petitions. I’m sure that movie industry wishes they had found better ways to slay the cable-dragon.

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