You ain’t Tyson

Posted on April 30th, 2010 in Funny Pictures,LOUD&lowbrow,News Stories by LOUD&lowbrow

A 21 year old woman in Nebraska was called “fat” by some guy at a party.

So what did she do?

Bit off a chunk of his right ear. He was a 24 year old guy at a party, there was an argument, he called her fat, she bit off his ear, and the chunk of ear was never found.

Way to prove your not “fat” by eating part of a man’s ear.

demotivational poster mike tyson ear bite

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Wear Your Mittens If You Go To Saturn This Week

Posted on April 30th, 2010 in News Headlines,TJSky by TJSky

saturn 300x154 Wear Your Mittens If You Go To Saturn This Week

Saturn (the planet) is having one hell of a blizzard right now.  Five times worse than the blizzard that hit the DC area this year.  NASA’s Cassini spacecraft is orbiting Saturn gathering the most data ever collected about the storm season of the planet.

The Cassini-Huygens mission is a NASA, European Space Agency and Italian Space Agency project.  The team is based out of the Goddard Space Flight Center.

Amateur astronomers gave NASA the heads up about the storm, as they are able to view some of it from their “stations” here on Earth. Cassini’s observation spots and times are set months in advance; the spacecraft that is “right there” (comparatively speaking), misses spotting these events on its own.

When there was a comet that hit Jupiter last summer, an amatuer spectator took a picture and sent it to Cassini scientists for them to see what was going on with the aftermath.

I want to know why we care if there’s a snow storm on Saturn.  I want to know why two European space agencies have such an interest in Saturn and Jupiter as well.  Perhaps if scientists would make their motives known to the public, there would not be such an objection to funding and such.  It almost seems like we pay billions of dollars for some people to live on their childhood dreams of star gazing up close.

I’d also like to know why amateurs are more on top of things than NASA themselves.  I understand the observation spots for the craft are predetermined, but doesn’t NASA have an astronomer checking out the stars and planets from Earth?  Or are they so consumed with technology and money that the idea of using modest means of observation are beneath them?

Let me know your thoughts on this.
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Chelsea Clinton Has One Request For Her Father

Posted on April 30th, 2010 in News Stories,TJSky by TJSky

Don’t sleep with the brides maids…I mean, lose weight before the wedding *smirks*

Chelsea wants Bill to look good going down the isle.  Of course it is played to us that she is concerned about his health and this will be alot of strain on him.

Yes, walking a straight line is stressful.  15 pounds will make all the difference in the world.

It’s not an unheard of request to have a family member or dear friend trim down and shape up before the ceremony.

I’ve read stories about best friends not being in one another’s weddings because of weight issues.  In Style quality people comprising the wedding party in the photo album is much more important than friendship.

The amusing part is when the bride, although average built, has a horse face. *coughs* Chelsea *coughs*

bill clinton chelsea clinton

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Freddy Krueger “Reinvented”?

Posted on April 29th, 2010 in LOUD&lowbrow,Rants by TJSky

freddy krueger Freddy Krueger Reinvented?

“Nightmare on Elm Street”  is coming out.  Yea it was out back in the 80′s, this is a remake.

There’s no Wes Craven or the creepy dude that played Freddy.

Why the fuck would you remake the original?  That shit was scary.  It’ll scare a 10 year old back into bed-wetting just as much now as it did back in the day.  Now someone’s just gonna ruin it.

The director, I dunno whoever the hell he is, said that he wanted to redeem Freddy because he became a joke.  A whole rack of people love “Nightmare on Elm Street”, even the sequels.  He didn’t need to play Captain Save A Movie.

They remade Karate Kid, now this.

Doesn’t Hollywood have some writers who do original shit anymore?

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Let’s be like Brazil

Posted on April 29th, 2010 in LOUD&lowbrow,News Stories by LOUD&lowbrow

brazil flag Lets be like Brazil

The health council in Brazil is out there promoting their citizens to keep blood pressure down so they can stay healthy.  The suggested way to do it is MORE SEX!

They’re out there trying to get people to have more sex and do more dancing to be healthy.

That’s my kind of health plan.

If my doctor told me to do that instead of laying off beer, I’d be the best patient ever.

Someone get the Brazilian health minister over here for a convo with the surgeon general  :)

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The Arizona Boycott…Did The Protesters Boycott School As Well?

Posted on April 28th, 2010 in News Headlines,Rants,TJSky by TJSky

There was/is an internet started boycott of Arizona tea.  This is to express grievances over the new immigration laws in Arizona.

Apparently, no one bothered to think or look up the company website to see that it is a New York company.  Who boycotts something without absolutely no research or backing?  Apparently a lot of idiots do.

Some who have reported on the Arizona tea misguided boycott have offered actual Arizona companies to boycott.  How is assisting a witch hunt any better than being able to harass someone who is Hispanic for no reason?

It’s not as if XYZ company out of Arizona lobbied and paid the politicians to introduce or pass the law.   Our Federal Government passes lots of horrible legislature; let’s boycott everything make or sold inside our borders.

Further, this could affect the livelihood of countless people who had nothing to do with the law.  During a recession nonetheless.

Imagine busting your ass at work for your company who is boycotted, suffers financially, then has to lay you off because the State of Montana passed some objectionable law.  How would that make you feel?

So yea, go target innocent businesses, that makes a lot of sense.

picresized 1271892238 grijalva The Arizona Boycott...Did The Protesters Boycott School As Well?

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Jesus really knew how to party

Posted on April 27th, 2010 in Funny Pictures,cantarella by cantarella

The Last Supper 300x210 Jesus really knew how to party

Party like a save…
Party like a savior!!

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Stats From The Vat

Posted on April 26th, 2010 in News Stories,TJSky by TJSky

the vatican 300x202 Stats From The Vat

According to statistics recently released by The Vatican, the number of Catholics in Africa has risen by 33% and in Asia it has risen 16%.

How about America or some other Western country? I don’t suppose those statistics would say much about the state of Catholicism…or it may say too much about its state.

In an unrelated article, I read that parts of the world (such as Asia and Africa) are being increasingly flooded with pro-pedophilia propaganda.  Hmmmm.

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Why Do People Ask Stupid Questions?

Posted on April 22nd, 2010 in Rants,TJSky by TJSky

dumbasspeople 300x235 Why Do People Ask Stupid Questions?

My daughter’s unit in science is the solar system.  She wanted to know “why do stars shine?”   I went to my friend Google.  It has the pre-fill mechanism.  I typed “why” then “do”.  I paused and looked at the TOP MOST searched terms that start with “why do” and realized that the human race is rapidly falling to an imbecilic abyss.

Let’s do our top 10 list of questions that the human mind must know to have a fulfilling existence.

1.  Why do dogs eat poop? Here’s a suggestion, if your dog is eating poop, trying feeding it once in while.

2.  Why do cats purr? They don’t do anything else redeeming that would compel someone to spend time and money on them, so God gave them the ability to purr…the feline version of mild prostitution for food and shelter.

3.  Why do we dream? Because our reality of poop eating dogs and cats that sound like motorboats is too much to bear without a reprieve.

4.  Why does my eye twitch? Probably because you don’t use your eye muscle enough to really exercise by say, I don’t know, reading a book once in a while.  You know those paper things with words on them.

5.  Why do men cheat? Because they’re turned off by women with twitchy eyes whose dog smells like a pile of shit.

6.  Why don’t we just dance lyrics.  Josh Turner’s simple, yet catchy song, is sung so slowly, do you really need written lyrics to follow along?  Exercise your twitchy eye once in a while with a book that may further exercise your brain and allow you to memorize such a simple song.

7.  Why do cats knead?  Because they don’t really do anything else, besides the manipulative purring bit.

8.  Why does my belly button smell? Why don’t you shower more often?

9.  Why do dogs lick people? They’ve got to compete with the purring cats somehow.

10.  Why do we yawn? Because our brains are bored to death with the dumb ass shit we ponder about our dogs, cats, and trivial body defects.

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I wanna go to her dentist

Posted on April 21st, 2010 in LOUD&lowbrow,Videos by LOUD&lowbrow

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