2010 March | The Dirty Sun

Drunk Dialing At A Whole New Level

Posted on March 29th, 2010 in News Stories,TJSky by TJSky

drunk dial 300x167 Drunk Dialing At A Whole New Level

A 27 year old woman in Michigan called 911 to report a drunk driver….herself.

She called 911 at 5:40 in the morning and talked to them for 20 minutes before the police pulled her over and she was arrested. Part of the 911 transcript was released.

Dispatcher: Are you intoxicated?

Woman: Absolutely!

The dispatcher goes on to plea with her to pull over as she rambles on about how she shouldn’t be driving.

She was driving, drunk, which using her cell phone, and drunk dialed 911.

This instills a whole new drunk dialing fear in me. I thought of the worse drunk dial I ever initiated….or even worse drunk text…and yea, they don’t come close to calling 911 and letting them know about my intoxicated operation of heavy machinery.

Then to stay on the phone and keep rappin’ about it so the police have time to find you. Too rich for my blood.

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What A Surprise – Ricky Martin Is Gay!

Posted on March 29th, 2010 in News Headlines,TJSky by TJSky

ricky martin 20060804 149995 211x300 What A Surprise Ricky Martin Is Gay!

I’m sure that is surprising news to absolutely no one.

Ricky announced via Twitter that he is gay and can no longer hide it. He is now a father of two boys and doesn’t want to live a secret life. Good for him.

Not that we all didn’t know that like a decade ago, but good for him.

He has started to write his memoirs that will be published (of course). Writing it all out made him realize he needed to shed the secrecy and embrace a life he should have celebrated.

I can’t help but to think that this is rather timely of an announcement if he is going to release a book — everyone will want to buy it to get all the details — you know he’ll be on Oprah. I wouldn’t be surprised if a CD followed.

I don’t want to cheapen someone’s self-realization and label it as a marketing ploy….but since I’d venture to say that is what Ricky (and his PR) is doing, then I’m gonna go ahead and cheapen it. No better way to get your name in a headline in the US after several years off the map as announcing you’re a boy who kisses boys.

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Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up?

Posted on March 28th, 2010 in News Stories,TJSky by TJSky

capt.991129a782d14c27928027894009a0e2 991129a782d14c27928027894009a0e2 0 Will The Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up?

A guy in Utah steals some cell phones from a convenience store, and takes off. He gets lost while he is fleaing the area.

If you are lost with stolen merchandise was is the most logical thing to do? A. Ask a passerby for directions. B. Steal a map C. Wave down a cop to give you directions.

For me, the logical choice is D. keeping running in a straight until the heat is off and worry about getting home later.

For Mr. John White, the answer was C. flag down a damn policeman for directions.

Because you only just robbed a store, I’m sure no officers in the area could possibly have your description and be tracking your ass down. Although he does blend well in a crowd, with the yellow Ralph Lauren shirt to match the hair. That’s hot.

If you’re wearing Polo, why the hell do you have to steal some prepaid cell phones anyway? That always impresses chicks (or dudes…whatever he is in to).

Needless to say the idiot was arrested…he had the phones, and some weed. This is in Utah, theivery will not be forgiven, and that weed charge isn’t going to be taken lightly.

If only he had stolen a car and made it to Mexico. Stolen a car with GPS of course.

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Let This Be THEIR Undeserved Big Bonus

Posted on March 27th, 2010 in News Stories,TJSky by TJSky

money 300x300 Let This Be THEIR Undeserved Big Bonus

In Chicago, the streets were covered in hundred dollar bills! A bag fell out the back of an armored truck, ripped open, and $100,000 was all over the street. People jumped out of their cars to get their hands on a piece of the pie. When all was said and done, authorities recovered only a little over $10,000. They are hoping people do “the right thing”.

What is that? Give it back?

Cities, Counties, States and the Federal Government have created the worse economic climate since the 1930′s…why is it wrong that the private citizens capitalize off the poor judgment of the armored truck driver who didn’t secure his truck?

The entire financial industry capitalized off the poor judgment of consumers who got turned upside down in their houses, to find themselves homeless in foreclosure only a couple years later.

Those fat cats still got bonuses this year. Let this be a bonus to the Chicagoans hit hard by the unemployment rates. Sure they didn’t do anything to earn it, but neither did those bastards at JP Morgan who made extra millions on top of millions after fucking over people. Screw giving it back.

Of course authorities are reviewing surveillance video and cell phone camera pictures to try to identify those who grabbed money.

Keep on wasting resource Big Brother, keep on wasting resources.

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“SAY QUESO!”

Posted on March 25th, 2010 in Funny Pictures,Rants,jDarden,punX by jDarden

I wish I could take credit for this review that was posted about a club. I can’t but i will say that my friend has been trying to explain this to me for the past 15 mins.

XXXXX BAR SUCKS!‎

I went to there New Years Eve Party, and was refused entry because they claimed my under 21 id was fake. Who would have a fake under 21 id? NO ONE. The bouncers were also so rude and actually scratched my friend when pushing her away.‎

WORD!

jdarden

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Apparently 1981 Monte Carlo’s Are Worth About As Much As a Bicycle

Posted on March 23rd, 2010 in Funny Pictures,Rants,cantarella by cantarella

While helping a friend of mine on her quest for her dream car, we came across a listing on Craigslist that sounded almost too good to be true… at first. $2500 for a Monte Carlo? Really? So naturally, we clicked on the link in hopes that this would be the one.

Before clicking on the picture, go ahead and take a wild guess as to why homeboy’s selling his baby. Stumped? Go ahead, click it.

I mean, seriously? You’re selling it just cos someone stole your wheels and the front axles? Okay, so I’m not much of a car person (which is kinda sad considering my mother is in that industry) but to me, it’s like some hot-shot CEO divorcing his middle-aged wife for a newer, younger model, simply on the grounds that she went and got a bad haircut but justifying it with the old “I’m-tired-of-spending-my-money-on-your-golddigging-ass” excuse. And what’s sad is that the younger model is a burn-out hooker who will most likely make him spend more money on her in the first year than you did during your 25-year marriage.

What makes it even worse is that the car is just ugly as shit. I’ve always loved older cars, but an ’81 Monte Carlo ain’t one of ‘em. The tires are a fucking joke; like you can street race in those… get over yourself. Not to mention, being the grammar-Nazi that I am, it took me a few minutes to actually decipher what the hell this guy was trying to say. lern2englshplz.

“Make me an offer…” His desperation would almost force me to believe that he’s just trying to sell it for some rock, if I didn’t know any better.

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Toyota Shareholders Suing Because Their Stocks Went Down…Aw, Poor Babies

Posted on March 21st, 2010 in News Headlines,TJSky by TJSky

toyota trounces gm 300x212 Toyota Shareholders Suing Because Their Stocks Went Down...Aw, Poor Babies

A bunch of whack-job Toyota share-holders are suing Toyota for the price of their stocks falling. Wouldn’t we all like to sue companies whose stocks we hold and decrease in value? Their spin is that Toyota maliciously covered up the acceleration issues and made excuse,s like floor mats getting in the way, to deliberately make stock prices continue to rise.

Basically their claim is that Toyota didn’t declare a design fault that would cause the acceleration issues and would ultimately bring stock prices down. That’s like suing Compaq for not keeping up with Apple’s technology…a flaw in the design of the company’s competitiveness…yet it’s a risk when you are in the computer industry. They invested in a car company; shit happens…like recalls. Just because it’s not Ford or GM doesn’t mean Toyota would be immune to the errors that can occur in vehicle manufacturing.

I agree that Toyota fucked up the handling of the recalls, but I really think that was more their inexperience in recalls…not the big wigs in the board room plotting how to keep stock prices up with their mad scientist laughs. As you saw in my prior post, I’m glad Toyota was humbled (and I’m a Toyota owner), however, I find it hard to fathom that their focus was to fool investors. I would say it’ll be a hard case to prove.

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It’s scary we trust these people for news!

Posted on March 20th, 2010 in LOUD&lowbrow,Videos by LOUD&lowbrow

None of your business bitch!

I been wondering where I can get some ass cream.

I think I know Rodney

There’s the notification…on the 5 o’clock news…screw a phone call

We know what she did during lunch

I thought they had medicine for terets now

I knew Barrack was unique, but damn!

I always wondered what came after 7

Weathermen are only on the TV for like 5 minutes each hour, he couldn’t take a dump ahead of time?

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Wii straps…they’re there for a reason

Posted on March 20th, 2010 in LOUD&lowbrow,Videos by LOUD&lowbrow

I guess the pictures and instructions when you boot up the Wii were confusing for this guy.

The worse part is he busted his TV playing freaking Wii sports that came with the Wii. Not even like he can make up some Madden story or something your buddies will at least understand. No instead he was doing like old man bowling and got crazy carried away in the heat and excited of it all.

Dumbass.

Yea, slap the TV again, maybe that’ll fix it.